I thought it would be more meaningful to share this in a short story format, hopefully in a less boring way, so I will make up names for the characters and then at the end I will divulge into the moral that has been wracking my brain all week. So here I go, Enjoy!
The restaurant was so elegant. Everyone there was dressed up like it was a wedding. Gina and Blake walked in together and noticed Uncle Jim in the corner at a table accompanied by a lady they didn't recognize. Each table was dimly lit with a subtle candle to add to the romantic feeling of the place. The young engaged couple joined their uncle at the lovely round table.
"So what's the big occasion?" Blake asked Jim.
"Oh, I came across my good ol' friend here and I wanted to enjoy a meal with my favorite people. Enjoy what you want, it is all on me, as long as you listen to my story." said Jim with a deep look of concern and a piece of heartache.
"Of course, we love to hear your stories, anything you'd like uncle, it's just a pleasure to be with you." Blake said with sincere appreciation for his Uncle and the influence he had been on his life.
"Well then, Sally, if you don't mind, I would like to share 'Our' story to them. It has been so nice to reconnect with you again, and in anticipation for my good nephew's wedding soon, I want to share with him my most powerful life lesson."
Sally, the unfamiliar guest to Blake that accompanied Jim, gave him a gentle nod. She knew that this story would be good for the young couple to hear before their union just a few weeks away. But little did Jim know, that him sharing this story would lead up to a wonderful moment later that evening.
So with a little smile, yet a subtle sound of regret in his voice, Jim began.
"Many, many years ago, this lovely lady hear with me, Sally, and I were married. I had never felt so happy, so complete in my entire life than the times I had with her. The first few years were the best, when we were in our states of bliss and ignorance. Even if we didn't really do anything elaborate, we just liked being together.
"A year or so went by. We always loved each other. We weren't ever able to have children, so we just continued in our careers, being productive and loving life. Even though we enjoyed each other, we didn't always have the best communication skills. With being busy in our separate lives during the day, and having just a few hours at night, we didn't always do many elaborate things. Most of our evenings consisted of dinner and watching some TV before going to bed. Despite our seemingly mundane lives together, we both knew we loved each other, even though we rarely said it.
"Then one night in my very ignorant, competitive sort of personality, I posed a challenge to my sweet Sally. If I had ever realized the effect this would have made I would have never mentioned it, but I did, and now I have regretted it the rest of my life. I said that it seemed like our marriage was just average. I loved her, but there was something that felt sort of empty. So I proposed that we get a divorce. In six months time if nothing seemed more lively or elaborate our in marriage then we go through with it, but overall I would like to do this as to pose a challenge for us to liven up our marriage so that divorce wouldn't even seem an option down the road. It made Sally's heart sink that I had even wanted to do such a thing, that I had even mentioned the idea, but out of respect for me, she went along with it.
"I wasn't thinking straight when I suggested it. I meant it more of a joke, or in casual discussion than anything. I didn't really think anything would come of it. Around that same time I got a little busier with my work and the challenge to improve our marriage sort of faded out of my mind, but it always sunk deep on Sally. She just assumed that I didn't want to be with her anymore. But I just posed it as an opportunity to help liven our life together. With our lacking communication, especially with our deeper feelings, we never discussed things, we never dug deep on the matter. The next thing we knew 6 months had rolled by and Sally brought in the divorce papers to my office. Out of love and respect for me, and assuming I wanted out, she signed, dropped them on my desk and walked out. I loved her so much, I would never think of really going through with it, but because I mentioned it, she couldn't get off her mind. The idea of me even mentioning such a thing broke her heart and wore on her self esteem. She began to feel like she wasn't good enough for me and that I wanted out of the situation, when all I really intended was a challenge to improve our lives together. And amongst it all we lacked the courage to discuss the situation better, we dug ourselves in a rut of always assuming, rarely discussing. And now she was gone.
"It wasn't but a few months later that I heard that she re-married to an old high school friend and was gone from my life forever. That little challenge I made, our lacking communication was the biggest regrets I have ever had in my entire life. Now I am here. I was able to reconnect with Sally in some recent work associations, and tonight is the first night in 20 years that we've been able to enjoy a meal together again, now with you, my wonderful nephew. I share this because I don't want you to make the same mistakes."
Trying very hard to hold back the tears, Sally said: "I always loved you. Even that day I brought you those papers. I thought maybe you found someone else, that you moved on and didn't want me anymore. I miss-read your challenge, I just assumed you wanted out, not to get better. That day has rung pain in my heart every day for years, I too wish we would have just sat down and discussed things instead of assuming the worst. Yes I did remarry. My old friend from back in the day heard about my recent divorce and tried to make-up again. It was nice to have him in the picture, but it was never the same as our years. Out of fear of loneliness and heartache I married him anyway. They were nice times together, but I couldn't ever get you out of my heart. I always loved you. My marriage with Bob didn't last very long, he was good to me, but I just felt like I wasn't being fair to him, he deserved someone that could fully love him."
"You aren't married to him anymore? I thoug... I thought you were still together, I didn't realize..." Jim couldn't finish his thoughts, he was too overcome with the evening in sharing their story, and just now discovering more of Sally's past.
Then, before too much of an awkward silence over took the room, Sally got off her chair to kneel next to Jim. She gently grabbed his hand and said: "It has taken me many years to this point. I didn't know if I would ever see you again. But after living with so much regret I knew that if I ever saw you again I wouldn't let you go. We may have not been the best at expressing ourselves, we may have had horrible communication in some areas and assumed way too much, but that never changed the fact that I love you, always have and always will. If you will have me again, I want to spend the rest of my life with you again."
Speechless and bursting in tears, Jim knelt down next to Sally and they gave each other a deep hug, releasing all the bitter pain that had built inside their hearts all those years apart. It was the beginning of their new life together.
Then I woke up.
I know that in many ways the events in my dream aren't entirely realistic (it was a dream after all, I was lucky to get that much detail) Maybe in real life if they had loved each other that much then they wouldn't have waited that long to reconnect, or something. Maybe in real life a couple would have just naturally communicated to avoid such a thing. Beleive me, I know that there are many things that don't seem realistic in this dream, but either way, it still had me thinking lots this week.
This dream had me thinking more about my own marriage, along with my own relationships with people in general, family and friends. There are so many times I just "assume" things, lack courage to commincate deeper things with people. My insecurities get me assuming that if others don't initiatie things first, then it must mean they don't want to be around, don't want to associate with me or some other crazy assumptions. I don't think I express my love to my loved ones enough.
It got me thinking about how much I don't ever want my life with my husband to be on the lacking end so much that we wouldn't be able to commicate our deeper feelings, that we would be on the edge of a marriage were we wouldn't really know the interworkings of the other's life, or really know how much we loved each other. I don't want my life with my loved ones to become so easily faded out that we live most of our lives and barely know each other.
It has got me thinking more on just how I should really strive to be better, and how I can improve in so many more ways. I need to be a better "me", so that there can be a better "us." I want to be a cause for a ripple effect for good, not a worse than great marriage. I love my husband so much and this dream has had my mind wracking that I gotta do all I can on my part to make my life with him simply grand.
I really need to make the most of the blessings I have been given, the people I have been given in my life.
Have you ever had a powerfully motivating dream? What lessons did you learn from them?
On somewhat similar and final notes for this post. I saw this video this morning and I thought it was very fitting, in that we should love our spouses and stay close to them, appreciate the time we have with them. And if you are not married, than to at least appreciate those that are important in your life.
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend and can find joy and love with those around you in every little moment you get with them. Thanks for stopping by!
Cool dream and great insights from it. I like your story that ties it all together. Keep up the good work.
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