Finding strength within and from above

Motherhood. Such a profound word with a whole mix of meanings and definitions. It has been on my mind a lot lately, which I could probably blame on the fact that I have recently jumped into the pool of it all, and will be (sort of already) jumping in again for a round two dunking. Amongst all my contemplating of it all with my own child and soon to be two wee ones, I can't help but think a lot about my own mother.

I had the best mommy this world, that God, could have granted me. But amongst all her amazingness and blessing on my life I can't help feel like on a constant basis that I got ripped off, that I was cut short of a wonderful, much needed blessing in my life. As my toddler gets older, and as I try to prepare myself for the realities of another one on the way within a month and half or so, I just wish I could reach up and grab my mommy out of her little heaven, and gosh darn it, "I am not done with her yet! Is it too much to ask to have her a little longer!?"

I can't help but feel like I got the short end of the stick, loosing her so young in my life, in the fragile years of my chaotic teenage life. There has been and still is so much more in my life that I really want her there for, not just in a spiritual, close by sense, but in a right by me, physical presence sense, there to answer my questions, or give me one of her amazing hugs when I feel like falling apart.

This just seems to be a struggle I will most likely run into the rest of my life, and no matter what I do, the pain of it all still lingers around.

But with each daily struggle, maybe there is still hope.

 When I think about my mommy, and how much "woe is me" for not having her, and I just want her back, I also am blessed with little reminders of the gems I have with me. I don't know what God has in store for me as a mother, but if I can be half the mother that she was to me, my little kiddos are in good hands.

I need to re-channel my emotions, my thoughts, from anger and sadness to gratitude and love for my own children. I might not get my mom, but maybe I can still try to be a good mom for my own kids, like she was for me the short time I had her.

Maybe I can't have my mom right by me, or near, helping me, telling me how to handle the chaos of each day. Maybe I can't have one of her amazing problem melting hugs, or one of her yummy comfort food meals, but I can still try to be the part of her that is embedded in me. I can give a hug to my little girl, melt into her and feel the love only a mother can feel for her child. I can play with her, be there for her in every way possible that I wish my mom could still be here for me. Maybe amongst all the pain inside of not having my mom, I can slightly compensate by trying to be like her. Maybe in my quest to be like her to be a good mother, I can also push through some of these pains of just missing her so much.

Maybe I can't have my mom with me in all the ways I want and long for, but I can strive to be the mother my little girl wants and longs for each day. Because that is what motherhood is all about, being there for our children, in whatever way our life, our circumstances will permit. This is certainly one of my top quests, my top life long journeys, to be the mother they need, the mother God intends me to be for them. There is hope amongst the pain.

Momma Fry Bread

Today's yummy food sharing I thought I would share a classic that has been a part of my family for YEARS. As long as I can remember growing up for dinner on occasion we would have fry bread. And I am not positive, but I think my Mom also had this growing too, so its been in the family for a while. Then also being a native to Arizona, we also heard people call them "Navajo Tacos," because the Navajos in AZ would make something very similar to these, but much bigger, like a tortilla size. And last but not least, I have also heard of people from Utah call them "Scones" all though I absolutely hate that title, (just a silly pet peeve of mine, nothing against you personally if you like to call them that name), because if you look up the real true honest scone, they are more like a biscuit you eat with jam, don't believe me, google it yourself, or even check out this wikipedia link, and let me rest my case.

Back to the fry bread...

 They are oh so yummy and also very versatile. But the only down side, is yes, they are "fried" thus being called "FRY" bread. So that little disclaimer can make them a little not as healthy as if it was "baked" bread, and I don't know if you are this way, but sometimes fried food gives me heartburn, not fun. But despite all this, they are still very yummy, and I think would be fine on more rare occasions.

One of my all time favorite part about making these is that you can use a regular bread recipe and it will make you yummy fry bread. For many years I used my mom's classic bread recipe, but in recent years or so I have been using a new recipe, which is the one I will share if you would like to use instead of any other bread  recipe you have up your sleeve.

So here it is:

Whole Wheat Bread
(This amount makes about two loafs of bread, one loaf worth is plenty of fry bread to feed my little family of three, so base your making needs off that)
3 cups hot water
1 &half Tbs yeast
1Tbs Salt
1/3 cup oil ( I always like to do half applesauce, half oil)
1/3 cup honey or sugar
1/4 cup Gluten flour
6-7 cups of whole wheat flour

Combine all the ingredients except the flour. Let it set for about 10 mins. Then slowly add the flour till it is well blended in a dough like form. Then knead by hand or in a machine for about 6 mins.

Or I have also used this Pizza dough recipe and it made the pieces of fry bread really extra fluffy and bubbly (Which is my all time favorite, because then you can open it and stuff it with goods, like a pita pocket or something!). So that recipe is here, which I recently found at THIS website. And this recipe is directly pasted from the website.

Basic Pizza Doughyield: 2-12 inch pizzas, approximately 1 lb. of dough
Ingredients:
1 cup warm water
2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 tablespoon honey {or sugar}
2 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons olive or canola oil
3 cups bread flour {give or take 1/2 cup…depending on the heat & humidity}
Directions:
In a large mixing bowl, preferably that of a stand mixer, stir yeast and honey into warm water. Sit for 5-10 minutes or until bubbles form and mixture starts to foam. This tells you that the yeast is alive and kicking. Pour in salt, oil and half the flour and mix. Once that flour is incorporated, start adding flour in bit by bit until you get the pizza dough to the consistency you want: slightly tacky, but when you touch it it doesn’t stick to your hands. Once you reach this stage, turn the mixer on high to knead for 6 minutes. Turn a timer on and walk away! Resist the temptation to stop earlier than 6 minutes! The dough should be smooth and easy to work with. And the bowl should be clean! Lightly grease the bowl & the dough so it doesn’t dry out, cover with plastic wrap and let it rise 1-2 hours. That’s it!

 After you have made your dough, you can let it rise for a little while, or just jump right in to make them (which sometimes I do if I am crunched on time to get dinner going). The next step is to roll out the dough on a lightly greased surface with a rolling pin to about 1/8 inch thick and then cut into strips as big or small as you'd like, I like to make mine about the size above, which is like 2inches by 4 inches or so, but the size doesn't really matter that much. Before or during this part, put your oil in a frying pan and turn it to a medium heat to get it started warming up.

 When the oil is hot, carefully start putting the pieces of dough into the pan. Fry a few minutes on each side till it has a nice golden brown sort of look. I would give you an exact amount of time, but each time I do it, it is different, so you just have to kind of figure out what is best for your and your stove and your dough.

You don't have to, but after they are done I like to let them cool a little on a cooling wrack (with a paper towel underneath to catch the oil drips), to keep it from getting too moist in a bowl, and to also hopefully get some unnecessary excess oil off.

After a few minutes you can load them in a bowl ready to serve.

Now in my recent much lacking of taking better pictures, ideally I would have more pictures to show you how to load up the fry bread and how it looks most yummy to eat, but since I failed I will just explain. For our family these goods taste oh so yummy with a layer of re-fried beans, then diced tomatoes, chopped lettuce, and grated cheese (kind of the same sort of things you'd eat with a regular taco), or you can also add olives, onions, whatever you have on hand or would like to eat that is in that sort of "taco" category. But that is what makes these so great is they can be pretty versatile, so doesn't really matter entirely what you eat them with. Oh and another favorite at our house is to eat them with a little honey or powdered sugar on top. They really are so good!

So that's all I have for today except to announce that we've finally decided the lovely prizes for the 100th Venture giveaway, April will be making a lovely adorable Apron, and I will give $10 worth of Bare books to the winner to pick anything they'd like from this wonderful Bare book website. The giveaway will start Monday,  March 19th, and I will have a new separate tab at the top of the page that you can go to for the details on it. So don't hesitate to join in on the fun!

Until next time!

Clothes my Mommy made me...

In officially starting out my new schedule tonight, which if you missed the memo, you can read about it HERE. Today is "We-flecting Wednesday", this is my attempt of playing on words, in that today WE will reflect on things that I have made in the past and wanted to share on it.

Which I guess this first post is a little ironic since what I am gonna share is actually things I personally haven't made, but felt like the shoes fit- in honoring of my Mother for mothers day coming up this weekend. Plus I think it would be unfair to not somewhere in this venturing blog I have created for myself to mention my Mother and give her the honorable credit that I owe her, since if it wasn't for her I really don't think I would have my creative streaks and desires, and I am pretty sure I wouldn't know how to make A LOT of things without her wisdom, her frugality, her craftiness, her ability to make something out of nothing, and everything else that made her, her! So long story short- to kick off with my new schedule and to celebrate the up coming Mother's Day, I am honoring my wonderful mother by sharing a little of what she personally made for me (or well, things she just made too)- if only I had everything she made me for me that I could share pictures of, that would be a whole new blog in of itself!

For you new readers out there (thanks for joining in! :) Or those that don't know, my Mother passed away exactly 6 years and 5 months ago this coming Sunday. Which I guess in some ways makes this post feel a little tender and gives me more pleasure in sharing HER since she isn't exactly around to do it herself anymore (not that she would though, cuz she wasn't the type to flaunt and rave about herself). So in honor of one heck of Lady, in honor of my lovely teacher and inspiration to who I am today, and in honor of her as my Mother for Mother's day this weekend- I present to you the following (Do keep in mind that some of these photos are older, so you will get a little taste of my crazy little self- hopefully it won't freak you you too much, if so, just focus on the item she made that I am capturing for you and we can get through this without too much pain :)

Starting a ways back, here is a lovely family matchy matchy collection she made. Yes that's right, she made all the shirts of everyone in the picture below- see, she's gotta be mother cuz she likes to be matchy matchy too! :)

 Then up a few years, with a few more children, we have another family photo filled with more lovely homemade dresses (well actually I am not 100% sure these were all homemade- but I think they were- sorry for not getting my facts straight before posting this- on other notes- don't you just love the 90's?)

 Here below the dress that my mother is wearing (she's the one on the left if you weren't able to pick that out :) Is one she made, along with the lovely flower arrangement on her shoulder- such a happy smile :-D

 Now these are just classic, she made a lovely pair of these blaring black and greenish yellow stripped shorts for all my sisters and I one Christmas- can you tell they have had their use out them? Good memories on this lovely work of art!

 Sorry this picture is sorta blurry, but aren't they just great!? Look, matchy matchy again!!

 This dress below she actually made for herself as well, but I was able to inherit it when she passed away. Even though it is not really my style I can't seem to let it go, I can still see her wearing it...

 In honoring my Mother for my college graduation this last year, I did actually wear this dress, but changed up the style a little for my likings, it gave me nice warm comfy feelings wearing it that night- like she was there with me a little more than I know she already was

 This next feature will always cease to amaze me. In our church we have an annual "girl's camp" where all the girls ages 12-18 will hang out in the woods for a week, growing, laughing, learning, and having a ball while also trying not to kill each other. This one particular year my Mother was in the the leadership over these girls and in creating the theme for this particular year she came up with a crazy plan. This year the theme was "ER" standing for "Eternal Righteousness," but since we bummed off the medical acronym, we also bummed off using medical themed ideas for various things throughout the camp. So long story short, she came up with the brilliant, yet crazy idea that she wanted to make "scrubs" for all the girls, yes ALL- which if I remember right it came to about 25-30 scrub outfits, which also included the leaders as well.

 Here is another view of the scrubs (remember, if my weird little self disturbs you, focus on the item being presented :)

 The following item below is my lovely jacket, I love that jacket, I still have it (although I don't always use it)- it was perfect for our Arizona snow!

 She made the following dresses and white cape. I wish I had pictures of all the fancy dresses she made. She made almost all of my sister's prom/homecoming dresses, along with all the dresses for the bridesmaids at my siblings weddings, and also several of my siblings wedding dresses as well- if only I had a picture to capture all this amazingness!

 Amazingly enough I still fit into that same dress from so many years ago- and while being 8 months preggo as well!

 Speaking of weddings still- she also made many if not all of the flower arrangements for my siblings weddings- she really knew how to budget her wedding planning- she could really go cheap, without looking cheap!

 She made this lovely little baby blanket featured with my lovely little niece, along with prob thousands of many other blankets that many in the community were blessed to receive-yep she was that good!

 Here is also another blanket that my little girl is all wrapped up in! Recognize the material? Yep it is the same material that my scrubs were made out of that you saw earlier. She actually made this blanket many years ago for a lady in our church, but she miscarried, and still held onto the blanket. When she found out I was pregnant she passed the blanket on to me- what a treasure!

 This dress my Mother made for me for my 12th birthday, I love this dress, and I actually still wear it (tells you how much I've grown in the last 11 years :)

 See- it still fits- and I was pregnant in this picture too!

 Here was a lovely shirt she made, I loved this shirt, I don't know why I got rid of it (oh wait, maybe cuz it doesn't fit :( Again if my craziness is disturbing, focus on the shirt- pretty cute huh?

 Another skirt she made me. One summer I really wanted to go school clothes shopping, so my mom handed me one of her huge pattern books (you know the ones you can flip through in the material sections), she would collect the older editions that the store didn't use anymore. She tells me to flip through and pick out the ones I like and we would make them together (without the pattern though)- that was our school clothes shopping- great times!

If I remember right this batman shirt was another one of my "school shopping" items, I love this shirt and still wear often, it definately gets its wear out (sorry for not rotating it)

 And last but not least- this is actually a skirt I made (see I did make something we can "WE" flect on!) I made this skirt for her for her last Mother's day on earth. Another one of her keepsakes I can't seem to get rid of even though I don't really wear it...

 Isn't she an amazing lady!?

 I sure think so, and this post, these pictures don't even come close to scratching the surface of all her amazingness, of all her own special "domestic ventures"

 Someday I hope I can at least be half the wonderful lady that she was, and you can watch along as I attempt to be cool like her.

In honor of a wonderful lady, wishing you all a wonderful happy Mother's day.

Thanks for stopping by and Until next time!....

P.s. I have been so slow at getting it done- but in response to a request I got a little while ago, I will shortly be giving a little demo/tutorial of how to make clothes without a pattern, don't be expecting it SUPER soon, but soon, I promise! So be keeping a lookout for it if you are excited about it as I am!

Thanks, and again- until next time!....