Bravery

What does it mean to be brave? When I think about my life and things I have experienced and my many feelings of insecurities I feel like I don't have a brave bone in my body. Even though I have done things that would be classified as brave, like having a baby for example, I personally still don't feel brave (maybe this one I don't feel brave in part because I knew I couldn't do it on my own, I chickened out and got an epidural because I simply couldn't handle it anymore).

In the dictionary, it defines brave as: 

1.possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance.

2. making a fine appearance.

3. Archaic . excellent; fine; admirable.

When I think of these I have a hard time seeing myself fit into any of these categories. Maybe I am trying to compare myself too much to others who far better match these then I do, so in turn I make myself feel like I don't even come close to being brave. When I initially think of bravery I think of the extreme senses like dying for someone or maybe fighting a war, so anything in a lesser sense (mostly thinking of myself) I don't feel like I come even close to being brave because when I think of dying or fighting for someone I am far from bravery (mostly because I don't think I could do it).

Before I carry on anymore, the initial thing that got my mind turning and thinking so much about this all lately is primarily my little brother and my sister. First, because my little brother- as of this coming Monday he will have officially been at boot camp for the Marines for two weeks now and has several more weeks to go. I have always admired this little brother of mine, but now I am in awe (and in so many more ways scared for him), I know that I could never handle something like boot camp, especially since I would know it is only the beginning of possibly being sent out to fight somewhere sometime down the road. I think my brother is very brave and I admire his courage, his willingness. Second, in thinking of my sister, her husband has been in the Army program through college, and now that he is graduated, their busy, moving lots of times, possibly being sent out soon sort of lifestyle has begun. It's one thing to personally serve your country, but I think it is another whole ball game to be the wife (or spouse) of someone who is serving your country. I really admire her and husband, I really think of them as being brave and I don't think I could ever measure up to those great levels.

So back to my train of thoughts, what does it really mean to be brave? These two wonderful examples definitely stick out to me as being brave, but does it only count if it goes to these higher extreme levels? I feel like I live a plain mediocre life, home all day while my hubby works hard out of the home, watching after my little girl- I am lucky if I can get myself out of my PJ's for the day, let alone out of the house. I save a lot of my out and about errands for my hubby's days off so that I don't have to do a lot of those sort of things alone. My days mostly consist of babbling crazy noises, singing songs and nursery rhymes, lots of clapping and making goofy faces, and then the occasional household menial chores like laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc. I think of this and then think of my brother and I feel far from brave, his levels far exceeds mine.

But I think this is where my main problem lies, I have an increasing problem of trying to compare myself to others. I am lacking in the courage to believe in myself, to believe that I have greatness, even if I live in simpleness. For as long as I can remember I have felt very insecure about myself and struggle on a daily basis to feel and know my self worth and sense of goodness within. I know in my mind that I have a great worth, but to make it feel real in my heart is a daily struggle I fight. Maybe this daily struggle, this battle within makes me brave, as long as I don't let the negative side win. I may not be brave enough to want to put myself out there to die for our country and live protecting it, but that doesn't mean I can't have a sense of bravery inside.

I heard this brilliant quote from a movie the other day, I think I need to print it out and put in my fridge so I can have the constant reminder of its powerful truth, it reads:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." -Marianne Williamson

Isn't that great? Satan, the devil, the adversary- whatever you'd like to call him is very real and has very distinct and personal plans to run us over and makes us feel weak, make us feel like crap in all the ways possible. But we are so much better than this, we just have to believe it, we just have to live it- this alone takes much bravery; "we were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us!" And when we allow this to happen, when we let our light shine we are taking brave steps all the time. Each brave step we take towards shinning we can become that much stronger, that much more capable of buzzing Satan off and being the great individuals God intends us to be.

We are all on different levels, for some it might be brave to just get out of bed, taking that courage to not let the body overcome and make a waste for the day. For others bravery could be that heroic trip towards to hospital to deliver their baby. Could be passing that test, passing that class, getting that degree. Could be enduring one more cancer treatment, one more lonely night. Could be taking their first step, singing a song, writing a book, or fighting in a war. We may not be like the person next to us, but that doesn't mean we don't have greatness, that we don't have bravery.

I guess what I am trying to get at this lovely Sun up Saturday is lets not give in. Let us be brave. No matter what level of bravery your life asks for, no matter what your life circumstances are you can be strong, we can be strong, we can share our greatness, we can shine our lights, even if it is only seen by our children, even if no one is watching, even if we live a simple life.

I will work on my battle within, how about you? I will be brave, I will be strong, how about you?

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a brave happy Saturday!

Until next time.. . .